3 months post surgery

I'm about the 3 month mark now post surgery and the last surgery was my 4th eye surgery and 3rd revision surgery.

I've been feeling very ill the past week with a really bad sore throat and cough and have been having lots of sleepless nights up coughing so hard every couple of mins, I couldn't sleep. I'm a little better though still have the cough.

I went to have my hair cut (last one was in May this year) and I'm happy with the cut, which is simple. My fringe is cut parted to the side, as that is how I prefer to wear it, and darn, my hair feels like a lion's mange (is that the right word?), as it feels so thick, and not the usual fine thin hair! Awesome, and thanks to Nourkrin! which I've now been on for about 7-8 months.

I looked awful at the hairdressers, especially sitting next to a beautiful 23 year old hairdresser who had perfect skin! My eyes looked like they were looking in different directions and I could see all the imperfections and I looked tired and haggard and I thought to myself, geez, all that money I've spent on my face the past year and a half and I still look tired and haggard. (sighs).

I took a pix of my new haircut today though it's not a suitable picture to share as it isn't a good comparison with the others as it's too small - so will have to wait.

When I look at myself in the mirror I still use my fingers to pull both lower eyelids up to see how they'll look, and pull my right outer upper eyelid up and that looks perfect and I think to myself, I sooooo soooooo sooooo hope the next revision surgery will be the very *last* one as I don't want to go through all that pain and recovery time again and financial strain. Even though private health cover part of it, what little I have had to pay and will need to pay is a burden on me as I have other bills and debts to uphold in life and there are priority things that need to be taken care of in the house repairs that are long overdue that have needed to take a back seat cos of these revisions. I haven't had a holiday for almost 6 years now (Miami last year doesn't count cos I met that a-hole there ... bah).

My washing machine has also broken down (has been for the past year and I think it's had it's last legs after 10 years and I need another one .... though can I?). My financial credit isn't so good right now (yikes).

I had much more to share last nite though have forgotten what I wanted to share.

I looked at some recent pictures of myself and I don't look the same person anymore. Each time I look at myself in the car mirror or any mirror, all I see are the lower eyelid droops in both eyes and the different upper eyelid curve in my right eye which gives the right and left eye different shapes. They look worst when I'm tired and my eyes are like half open. My heart sinks each time I see my reflection.