Scars & smarts

It's been over a week with my bad cough, sore throat and lungs and now today sinuses (cold) and it's draining. Everything hurts even my incision lines and areas underneath my eyes (outer) which smart to touch and for some reason they itch and the instinct is to touch them.

I'm surprised at the 3 month mark that I still have red incision lines on my outer eyes. It looks like red eye liner and can be seen through my make up when my make up wears off during the day though I can't really be bothered anymore (arrgh).

My eyes are still constantly changing, thou the lower eyelid retractions are always there as a permanent reminder. When I think ahead about the upcoming mouth graft in December, I do tremble at times re any pain and discomfort and I'm getting to the point where I'm tired of spending my life just waiting for revisions as my life seems to be on hold.

I watched a programme on tv last night re BDD where a woman who was beautiful felt ugly. There was a point in the programme where she agreed to remove all her make up in front of her friend (not the cameras) and it took her a lot of courage to do so. When she did, her friend commented on how beautiful and young she looked (we couldn't see anything as her back was to the camera); and then her friend kept on the dialogue that the woman was making up the fact that she was ugly, her skin was too pale etc etc to which the woman replied that she was glad she'd been to some therapy beforehand and was in a good space before she heard those comments, cos they are the very words that could potentially be damaging to a person with BDD, and also invalidating. It's very easy to speak without thinking about how our words affect another person and familes are a very good example of this where well meaning parents usually tend to be unable to convey their caring to their children, whatever age they may be. Take whatever message there is that jumps out at you - if it does or not, when you read my blog and view my pictures of my individual journey.

more to follow