It's been a while

It's been a while since I updated my blog - beginning of the month - about 3 and a half weeks. Much has been happening - mostly I've been ill with this horrible chesty cough since I got back from my second level yoga initiation in birmingham and I feel I've been to death and back with this chesty cough. I've had fevers, been sleeping straight up which didn't help much, coughed so hard all night my stomach muscles ached, had so much phlegm in my lungs and throat I've no idea where they came from! I just couldn't shake it and I refused to take any antibiotics as I'm all for holistic healing. My mom had something similar about 3 or 4 months ago and antibiotics didn't help her and she took 3 strengths all prescribed by the hospital. I come out in rashes all over my body when I take antibiotics and I just won't go there; and had been experimenting with holistic methods and towards the tail end of my chesty cough ie a few days ago I discovered natural antibiotics ie Collodial Silver. Better late than never! I had forgotten all about it.

I am feeling much better now though still have some phlegm in my lungs and throat. I haven't worked out since my surgery in June this year and I'm getting withdrawal symptoms plus my diet has gone out of the window and I've put on a few pounds. I need to get my stamina up and strong again before my next surgery in 3 months time.

Work has been crazy - issues again with the assistant who sits in front of me which came to a head last week - I stood up to her and she didn't like it and caused a great big fuss in the office, claiming that I'd upset her. Kinda like someone who tries to rub up against you in the tube and when you turn around and ask them to stop, they make a fuss and claim that they are completely innocent etc. So I brought the issue to HR and our managers got involved and I let nature take it's course. I know my worth and value in the firm, my strengths and weaknesses and I know the other assistant's worth too and well my teacher at school always said that empty vessels make the most noise. Life is too short to harbour anger and grudges as our experiences today becomes tomorrow's memories and I'd like my memories of life to be happy ones, filled with love and joy. All is well.

Eye wise, I still have scars at the outer ends of my eyes, my vision out of my right outer eye is poor as the outer corner has been stitched up too tight and needs cutting open or whatever, my left lower lid is very loose and when I wash my face and put my hands over my eyes, the left eye socket feels very hollow compared to the right eye socket which feels normal. My left upper eyelid fat transfer hasn't taken very well and when I have my lower eyelid transfer, more fat needs to be placed into my left upper eyelid socket. I'm still feeling very nervous about the hard palate graft and how I'll be when I go back to work. All the surgeries take so much out of me mentally, emotionally and physically not to mention financially.

More later ... I've got to go shopping.

To show differences in photos with flash and without on 1st Sept 06

The photos below were taken about 45 mins apart to the ones below on Friday 1st Sept 06, 3 months post surgery, with flash and without flash - to show the difference in how each picture comes out and how the eyes look and to also give a picture of how different my eyes look at different angles when I look at others in the eye. The first pix looks like my eyes are disfigured and lopsided. I'm tired of being too upset too much ... it is what it is.

Pictures 3 months post surgery - Fri 1st Sept 06

Pix taken 3 months post surgery - Friday 1st Sept 06

Comments similar to that below - this is a close up with the fringe moved out of the way a little. I did take another picture which shows yukky fatty tissue underneath the left lower eyelid ie where my lower eyelid bump has been for almost 2 years and which looks absolutely grotesque and which I was so upset about at the hairdressers last weekend. Where have my eyelashes gone???!!

Pix taken 3 months post surgery - Friday 1st Sept 06

Left lower eyelid droop seems worst in this pix (each pix shows different captures and angles), both eyes are different shapes, there's that keloid scar on the lower right eyelid which Jane said she can easily remove at the next surgery, and the right upper eyelid needs a bit more fat transfer on the inner corner