Arrrrgh, (scratch scratch, scratch) ... the past few days, all I've wanted to do is scratch my head which itches so much. I'm sitting in the office and I'm just scratching my head and patting it - like I did when I had the wig on (ergh). I was baffled as to why my head was itching so much 6 months post surgery from my Y-V brow lift and did a search on the internet and read that scars itch after surgery for years after, which is due to the nerves regrowing and regenerating. That made a difference as I thought that the itchiness was due to the scars being dry.
The corners of my eyes have also been itching like crazy, which Jane said they would. I have to be very gentle when I have any contact with any part of my eyes as my outer eye muscles are really sore and sensitive even to the slightest gentlest touch. And my eyelids too.
My outer left eye is dry lots from the exposure where the droop is the most prominent and that is bothersome and my eyes do feel dry even thou I use eye drops throughout the day. I feel I need something stronger but which won't blur my vision. I'm currently using TheraTears. My eyes also feel hot; and when I wake in the morning even though I'm using Lacrilube, my eyes feel dry and slow to blink for a while after. Everything feels like it is in slow motion. I just want to lubricate my eyes in the morning when I wake but there's nothing I can use until I use my normal eye drops. The medication from the hospital (eye drops) is now out of date (Hypermellose) and I am not sure if I'm supposed to continue using that. The nurse did say to me to only use it for one week though the bottle said one month; which is what I've done.
My right cheek infection is still there and very itchy (ergh) though my right lower eyelid hollow isn't as prominent as it was just after surgery and it's at a bearable stage ie where I don't freak out and get really upset cos it looks absolutely grotesque.
My left eye has been having vision problems for a while in that what feels like a transparent film keeps flicking onto my vision field when I blink all throughout the day and there's nothing I can do to get rid of it and I'm thinking it's the fine film that is on the top surface of my eye as after surgery for a while all I could see what that fine film squished up on my lower eyelid as it just glisened and it just didn't seem right that it was there. I emailed Jane and asked if this was anything to worry about a couple of days ago but she hasn't gotten back to me yet. I don't want to call her cos I'm not sure if this is something trivial or something I should panic about and go to A&E and/or make an appointment with her.
I do get very frustrated when Jane doesn't respond to my emails as I emailed her last week with a question which she still hasn't gotten back to me yet. I forwarded on the question to her secretary who also didn't get back to me - so I chased her secretary who seemed agitated that I'd called her as she said she was waiting to hear back from someone about prices - though geez, a simple email back to say hey, got your email and will revert back as soon as I hear about prices etc is common courtesy especially for a private patient. It takes seconds!! Lack of bedside manner! Perhaps its the way Harley Street works as I've known private consultants in Harley Street who are much worst so perhaps I should be thankful for the service I do have (grins). I dunno. I work in an investment bank where the standards are so high and it's so fast paced and I guess medical secretaries are in a different field - still sending out paper copies whereas we in the investment banking industry do a lot of things electronically and we have the latest technological gadgets including Blackberries on the move so contact is 24/7 with our bankers etc.
Well each time I'm at Jane's I see her computer logged on so she must be on line all the time and reads her emails - she perhaps is being selective in whom she responds to etc ... I don't know. I've heard other people say that Jane responds back to them really fast.
I have lots else to share but my mind is blank right now. I'm tired and came home early cos my vision was really bothering me. Each time I blinked, my vision blurred and I just couldn't do any work cos it was distracting. I wanted to come home and use ice packs on my eyes and just get some rest and palm my eyes.
I've also been eating lots (eeek!) and am sure I've put on 3-4 pounds in 6 weeks! Especially cos I haven't exercised!
Old friends have cropped back up on the scene whom I haven't seen for years and I'm noting the changes in me ie healthier responses and interactions with them etc (smiles). Onward with the next set of lessons life says :) ...
I have been thinking about my next surgery ie the mucosal mouth graft to my lower eyelids (if I need it) and thought and felt to myself lately that my body right now feels it can't take anymore surgery or rather my eyes don't feel up to it, and nor does my head, with all that itchiness going on my head and eyes and I feel like a mess - I don't know how people can cope with multiple surgeries - my hat off to them - bravo!!! Especially on these Extreme Makeover Shows! I had originally been thinking maybe I could wait 6 months and have surgery in December this year but I dunno ... then I was thinking I'd be happy to wait 9 months until Easter next year ie March 2007 when my body has had time to recuperate and recover more. It's just a thought ... I could feel better in a few weeks and feel up to and ready for a December surgery (if needed). It all depends on what Jane says as well. I'll follow my instincts and see what my body tells me. I'm sure I didn't feel this way after my brow lift ie that I didn't feel ready for another surgery; so this feeling that I have been having surprises me. Perhaps it's the itchiness of both my head and eyes and it feels overwhelming and too much for me right now. Not being able to rub my eyes drives me crazy (argh! :))
Some of the bankers in the office I believe suspect that I had eye surgery when I was away on hols (and one of my own bankers personally suspected it and mentioned it before I went away cos I was taking so long off) as I got questioned today by one of my other bankers I work for about my eyes cos I had to take that week off work after my hols. I just evaded his questions as best I could and he kinda bought it but he still suspects, which is fine - it just means they're good at putting two and two together. I just don't want to tell them cos they'll judge and they won't understand. I'm back in touch with an old friend I haven't seen for 8 years and I won't tell her anything about my surgeries cos she won't understand and she'll only judge and/or will never let me forget it etc and will gossip and tell others ... hello?!!!! ERgh!
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