Tues 25 July 06

Today I woke up with my left eye smarting, red and tearing and feeling every so painful. I kept wanting to rub it and it felt like I had lots of grit in my eye. The frustrating part was I can no longer lift any skin from my upper eyelid as there's not much there nor on my lower eyelid to see if I can move the grit though I have a feeling it was the stitches I could feel. All I wanted to do was roll my eyes to get rid of that gritty feeling which was very uncomfortable.

The feeling continued throughout the day at work (I think it's keratitis - which is the inflamation of the cornea). My left eye had tears flowing down all day and I was constantly using a tissue to wipe away the tears and using the tissue to rub my outer eye where I could feel the discomfort of the grit or stitch. It just felt like a knot inside my outer eye. It was a particularly bad day and my right lower eyelid kept throbbing and was quite painful.

At this stage, at 7 weeks post surgery, it feels my eyes have still a way to go yet of healing. And noting yesterday that my left upper eyelid fat transfer seems to be subsiding just made my heart miss a beat. Oh nooooo! It seemed ok today though it's not looking good if at 7 weeks there's signs of the fat disappearing. The right upper eyelid seems fine, per before. I don't understand this. I must ask Jane for her thoughts. I hope I get the opportunity to ask her all the questions I would like to.

My eyes still feel very uncomfortable when I blink. However when I use my fingers to support my outer eyes, the blink feels good and normal ie they don't have far to move meaning the lower eyes don't have far to move when I hold them up to where I feel they should be. Both the left eye and right eye feel different levels of discomfort when I shut them.

When I try and use eyeliner on my eyes, my right eye is fine though when I try to shut my left eye and use eyeliner, the eye is all puffy and I can't shut it too well and my right eyebrow raises so that my right eye can see properly. I'm perplexed with all these things happening to my eyes and eyebrows. I'd like to understand what's going on and sooooo need Jane to explain them to me hopefully in layman's terms (smiles) next week.

My right eyebrow feels bruised in the middle and is sore to the touch - it's been like this for a while though seems to be getting worse. Again this is something else I don't understand and wonder if it's related to the fat transfer injection and/or the brow lift. Must ask Jane. Note to self.

Met an old friend for dinner tonite whom I hadn't seen for 3 months; and was dreading he'd notice my lower left eyelid droop though he didn't say anything. I mentioned it to him after ie that I'd had surgery 7 weeks ago (he knew about my previous surgeries) and he said he could see the lagopthalmus when I shut my eyes though hadn't noticed the lower left eyelid droop. I did feel better whew though feel cos of his age, he's not too bothered about people's eyes and small details like that - he's almost 50 (not that that's old!). I've known him for 24 years now. Wow! On the way back to the car, he kept saying how young I looked. Interesting. I said it was my eye surgery - he said nah, it was cos I hadn't had kids.