Tomorrow, 1st day back at work will be interesting

Tomorrow, my first day back at work in 3 weeks, is certainly going to be interesting. Because my upper eyelids feel so heavy and my eyes feel *weird* so to speak, I feel that everyone looking at me can notice it; though I'm sure they can't or don't. I haven't even shown my mother my eyes and asked her about it since my stitches were out as I haven't really seen her or rather we went to the movies together but I had my sunglasses on.

I wonder how many people, if at all will comment at work tomorrow that I look different. I won't have any eye make up on so that'll make me look different in itself and I'm not planning on much make up - only a bit of powder and sunscreen (tinted) and perhaps if I dare, some camouflage on the scars on my eyes (lowers and uppers).

I wonder how my eyes will change over the coming weeks and months. My vision is really poor and blurry and worst than usual and sometimes even using my glasses don't help. I wonder how it'll be when I'm on the computer for 10 hours a day at work.

While I like my uppers, I must say that I still feel upset when I look in the mirror and see the lower left eyelid droop - my heart just sinks and cries inside - especially to see the right lower eyelid hollow. I'm just so tired of this journey of reconstruction. At times I wonder why did I start all of this .... (sniffles) - if only I knew the journey ahead.

The front of my scalp where the Y-V incisions were occasionally still hurt and itch. The sides where the incision were don't ache or itch and it's only the front of the scalp that hurts and itches and hasn't grown back yet - I wonder if the front ever will. It's been 6 months now and the front of the head incision lines for the brow lift are still healing hair wise. I can still feel the indentations.

I look at Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves on screen and they are exactly the same age as me and look at them, who haven't had plastic surgery at all and how great they look, though Keanu seems to have loose skin on his upper eyelids. Will he resort to plastic surgery at some point and/or do they both use botox? Makes you wonder considering their foreheads are so smooth :) or do they use cosmetic products to help them look young and fresh looking?