Pix 1 above - Taken before any eye surgery (Nov 04)
Pix 2 - taken after 1st surgery complications approximately April 05. Lots of excess skin on upper eyelids, ptosis repair incomplete on left upper eyelid, note difference in left eye to right eye, especially lower eyelid retraction, and the lump (which can't be seen in this pix as the flash was on). I didn't realise then that when I smiled, fatty tissue protruded, as per pix 3
Pix 3 - Taken 19 Dec 05, after recent 5 Dec 05 upper eyelid reconstruction, smiling, to show lump and fatty area (this was there before this 5 Dec 05 surgery and was a result of the first surgery complications, which the original surgeon did not know how to repair, in spite of a revision surgery July 05 - he went in, said he saw nothing, and did nothing during the surgery)
Pix 4 - Taken 19 Dec 05, showing lower eyes hollow, & lump still shows under left eyelid, caused by first surgery gone wrong by the other surgeon. Pix taken deliberately not smiling
Pictures of lower eyelid hollows, to finally be able to show the lumpy bump I've had for the past 12 months since my original bleph gone wrong. Turn the flash off!!! Doh! :)
Pix 1 is before any surgery - note how I have no lumpy areas.
Pix 2 is after my first surgery gone wrong. It breaks my heart to even see the pix now.
Pix 3 is smiling to show the darn fatty areas that were never there before, and also shows the lump more when I smile on left side.
Pix 4 is taken not smiling, to show the hollows, and the lumpy bump also shows up when not smiling. Apparently when I talk, the lump is very prominent, and looks like how it does when I smile (sighs)
So as you can see, I have a way to go yet in my lower eyelid reconstruction and will have to live with my first and second surgery disaster from my first surgeon, until Jane is able to reconstruct my lower eyelids (when I'm healed from this surgery) and also do the Coleman Fat Transfer (if it is needed) - Janes says she can try some fat repositioning in the tear trough area though doesn't think there is enough fat - we'll have to wait and see. It would save money and be one less surgery.
Looking at the pictures above especially Pix 2 brings up feelings of anger towards my first surgeon and reminders of all I've been through the past year, and him trying to pacify me saying that it'll heal in time. DOH!! With my left eye looking half asleep for the past year and a lower eyelid retraction with a lump that stands out a mile? Ok, enough said as I don't want to continue to fester on thoughts of his bad work. It shouldn't be allowed that surgeons do bodge jobs on people's faces.
Pix taken last nite 18th Dec 05, shows the incision line that I found last nite on the side of my head, and some areas where the staples were removed. So obviously I do have incision lines, as otherwise how would they have gotten inside me (grins). It was just freaky to find it! Eeek!
Now that I'm 2 weeks post surgery, I'm glad I made the effort to journal my healing journey here including pictures (it was time consuming) as I can look back, and my memory is already fuzzy, and see how far I've come and what I looked like before and after and look at my journey step by step with my journal, which I hope may help others along the way (though we're all heal at different rates).
Officially today I was scheduled to go back to work, though looking at my pictures above, I'm still very much bruised and I doubt any amount of make up could camouflage the purple bruises on my upper eyelids; though perhaps camouflage may hide the yellow bruising on my cheeks still or rather under the eyes. I still can't raise my eyes and that's dangerous in driving as it's easier to turn my head to look to my side right now than to turn my eyes which feel tight in my eye socket and to look up is ergh a no no as my eyelids feel immobilised. So I'm glad I have the extra week off.
I slept well last nite though I didn't want to go through another night of tearing so I used some Lacrilube inside my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to mix the eye medications though Lacrilube is sold over the counter and I hope it's ok. It did the trick and I had no tearing and slept like a baby which was wonderful, though I had to wake up to take my pain meds and eye medication as well, which I'm still on.
I wonder what my left eye will look like once the red area disappears. The lower eyelid retraction will show up more than, as right now the red area takes away the spotlight from the lower eyelid retraction and lump. I just hope my heart doesn't sink for the next few months and that my final reveal for this brow lift and upper eyelid reconstruction will carry me through for the next few months until my lower eyelid reconstruction. If need be, and it's ok time wise, I'm happy to have my lower eyelid reconstruction surgery around Easter, which ties in with the holidays and a fair amount of my guys will be out of the office on their Easter hols (this takes away the attention on me and I can use my holiday time for the surgery).
A bit of trivia - I'm not sure how many of you are aware, it may be hard to tell from just my eyes, though I'm part Indonesian Chinese and part English. When I look at myself I do not see my Chinese side (as English is my mother tongue) and my mother's local tongue is Khek (for those who're in the know from Singapore - I note there are a few from Singapore reading in - hi guys! :)) though I don't speak Khek, and only understand it a little; and Malay was my second language in school.
When Jane first saw me, one of the first thing she asked was what my heritage or background was as she saw the Chinese in me. Some people can spot it as soon as they see me which strangely always surprises me as I really can't see the Chinese in myself - I don't know why! (grins).
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