Day 15 post surgery : Tue 20 Dec 05

Day 15 - Y-V endo brow lift, bilateral upper eyelid reconstruction, upper left eyelash ptosis repair and upper right eyelid ptosis repair

The red blood area in my left eye is easing up thankfully. Part of me is a little concerned that when it all clears up, the lower eyelid retraction that was left by the original surgeon will be really obvious, though I think that as Jane has done such a good job with the uppers, and made the eyes look more even, removed that sleepy look in my left eye, and also gotten rid of the excess skin (dermacholasis), it's helped the overall look of my eye and hopefully will take away the attention from the left lower eyelid retraction and lump. If it does turn out that way, the next few months will be more bearable while I wait to heal from the brow lift and upper eyelid reconstruction and ptosis repair until my lower eyelid reconstruction.

A horizontal frown line reappeared on my forehead today and as mentioned previously, I was toying with the idea of botox, though only briefly, as now I've discovered Facial Rejuvenation Acupuncture (link thread on the Make Me Heal Board is http://www.makemeheal.com/messageboards/viewtopic.php?t=318) as a natural holistic way to facial rejuvenation which works. Some links are:

• http://www.cartyweb.com/ancientwisdom/cosmeticacupuncture.html
• http://www.luminousbeauty.com/
• http://www.traditional-acupuncture.org.uk/

I watched a tv programme, Silicone Chicks, yesterday, where a 62 year old woman had Facial Rejuvenation Acupuncture and she looked like she was 32 years old ... it was amazing! She had bags under her eyes but her overall face look was plump and it was amazing. There's no way I'd have guessed she was 62. She looked great! I did some research and there's a holistic acupuncturist a couple of streets away from me which I'll go to, if they do do Facial Rejuvenation Acupuncture. They recommend a series of 12 treatments, treating the body as a whole, and it's £50 approx per treatment. Results start to show from the 6th or 7th treatment.

I'm excited to see my final reveal when all the swelling is down and also especially when I can finally wear my hair normally as I haven't been able to cos of the staples. I may have to change my hair parting to center parting instead of the side which I have done for years (this will confuse folks at work (grins)). I am excited about how my upper left eyelash will turn out as for the past 12 months due to my last surgery, I developed eyelash ptosis whereas the eyelash would not curl up per normal; and to see both eyelashes on both eyes be normal again would be absolutely wonderful. It may sound so trivial re eyelash curling up, though it has felt very abnormal and upsetting the past year to see my left eyelash not curl up as I feel disfigured cos of it. Every day putting on make up would be a constant reminder of the surgery gone wrong.

I still can't raise my upper eyelids much, though it's getting better slightly. This is probably cos of the ptosis repair and also cos the upper eyelid incision areas were used to do the endo brow lift - and is still numb.

I do feel very vulnerable showing pictures of my forehead as well as my eyes, considering I'm trying to be low profile. I will consider just showing my eyes for a while and occasionally showing my brow - then again this is a brow blog (arrrghhh!) :) We'll see how it goes!

Day 15 post surgery and I still get a little emotional and tearful from time to time. It just sort of comes on and the tears start to flow when I'm watching tv. I just let it happen and go with the flow.

Don't quite like the feeling that I'm putting on a little excess weight with all this sitting around and eating and not being able to exercise though as I have low blood pressure, I'm eating just to keep my weight normalised as I'm usually underweight. I'd rather be safe than sorry right now and when things are back to normal I'm sure I can lose all the 4-6 pounds I've put on in the past 3 weeks.

I was thinking about liposuction the other day (smiles). It's in my thoughts though that's where it'll stay for a while as I can use exercise to rid the flabby areas and the areas that have been stubborn my whole life, ie inner thighs and under arms (even though I'm skinny) can wait perhaps till 2007. I am amazed I'm planning so far in advance in that I've got my schedule for the past 2 years worked out - in needing to work lots of overtime for the next 24 months to help pay off my surgery fees; and no holidays and no luxuries. It's a good job I don't drink nor smoke. My only luxuries are eating organic foods and having organic paraben free cosmetics and skin care products. It's a simple life for me the next 2 years; though if my eyes are fixed and I can smile when I look in the mirror, like I'm doing now, that's priceless :)