Thu 22 June 06 : Day 19 post op

Day 17 post op : Thu 22nd June 06

Right eye lower hollow, left eye lower droop, left lower outer eye lump not noticeable when not smiling, left upper eyelid (inner) fuzy cos of red spot (bah!)

Day 16 post surgery : 21st June 06

Right eye lower hollow, left eye lower lid has fallen though you can't see the left lump in this pix too much and left upper eyelid (inner) fuzzy cos of the red spot :(

Am sleeping later and later at night now, about 3am, which isn't good and at that I'm finding it harder to fall asleep even when I'm tired; though am waking up around 11am even though I set the alarm for 8.45am, which makes it around 8 hours sleep.

My period came today which was wonderful - I think I know now why I was eating so much the other day like I was eating for two (cravings of which have now completely disappeared thankfully) as I was hormonal, though I still am crying easily at the drop of a hat. I saw wonderful re period cos this whole year since I was on the steriods in Dec last year (05), my periods have been irregular again ie every 6-7 weeks if not longer; and now it was 35 days, which is a great achievement for me and I only had the thrush feelings for a couple of days and then it disappeared after I used the Manuka Oil. Not so good period wise is that one is not supposed to do certain positions in Yoga on the first 3 days of your period. (sighs).

Best friend rang - I haven't spoken to her for a few months since that episode about my hair way back end Feb 06 though have texted on and off. She was due to attend the yoga workshop with me but is now considering backing off cos she's got cystitis. I feel frustrated by her lack of commitment (as it's the only time this workshop will happen in the UK this year) though it's her loss. I mentioned my surgery to her and in a way I'm glad if she doesn't turn up tomorrow cos she'll only start her judgement again which right now I don't need.

Another friend of mine whom I got back in touch with about 5 weeks ago to help out regards the reiki charity, and whom I hadn't been in touch with for a couple of years or so, is showing his true colours as well. He keeps pushing me on email to talk in a sexual manner which I completely ignore and keep it formal and eventually he starts to get on his judgement chair again about reiki (even though he practices it) though he feels insecure about it. What is it with me and all these judgemental people (whom remind me of my parents :o)). Question answered yeah? Breathe ....

I'm still worrying re work and hating the thought that I have to go back next week. I sometimes wish I didn't have to go on this weekend yoga workshop just so I could have a few more days at home by myself to sort out the house which still has a way to go yet. It's slow progress. I'm done with the shredding - I just have to file all the paperwork now and find a system so I know where to find everything when I need it. Then I have to start upstairs in the library there and my bedroom and gym ... I'll never get round to it all. I feel overwhelmed. Story of my life.

My eyes are still behaving themselves when I wake up in the morning almost 3 weeks post surgery in that they aren't dry (yay) though I must be sleeping with my eyes open cos you just have to look at my photos with my eyes shut and you can see they're open.

My eyes still feel tight and I can't wait to get the stitches out tomorrow, Friday 23rd. I wonder what my eyes will look like and/or if they'll be any different and/or drop any further (eek - heavens no!). My right upper eyelid is still a little bruised and it is an effort / strain to blink my eyes.

I did a test yesterday and if I close my right eye and keep my left eye open, the right eye easily stays closed. If I close my left eye and keep my right eye open, the left eye has a huge problem in keeping closed and closing itself and shakes uncontrollably. I'm a little concerned about this. I must remember to mention it to Jane tomorrow.

I am still wearing either a sun hat or a cap when I venture outside and wear sunglasses all the time, even when it's cloudy. The guy in the petrol station looked at me weird when I went to pay for my petrol. I'm not brave enough to not wear them yet as I have stitches protruding from the corners of my eyes and my uppers and lowers like a cat's whiskers! And they look a little bruised and red still. Gimme a break! Also I can't open my eyes too much or wide cos they're feeling constricted.

My left knee where the fat was taken out still feels bruised and sore. I wonder if Jane will take the stitches out and/or if they are dissolvable - if they are dissolvable, they certainly aren't dissolving and I'm too chicken to cut them myself ....... eergh!

I had thought about lipo once to my thighs but after this little lipo to my knee to get a little fat out for my eyes ... noooooooooooo thank you!! Me no like the bruising and discomfort. I'd rather work out to The Biggest Loser DVD and endure that pain than the pain of bruising ... !!