Still off sick

Thursday 29th June and I'm still off sick today. My eyes are throbbing and vision is blurry. I wake in the middle of the night and I can sense that my eyes are open when I'm sleeping - it's a weird feeling as it all happens in slow motion ie I wake up to semi consciousness and then notice the sensation that my eyelids are open and when I get to full consciousness, my eyelids start to move in an attempt to blink and at times it's hard to blink cos of the surgery ie my reactions are slow and my eyelid muscles are heavy for whatever reason it is.

I started to massage my left outer lower eye area yesterday as instructed by Jane and it aches and is sore. Both my eyes are sore to touch - the blurry vision is tough to deal with and I hope it's only temporary. Reading Dr Meronk's site on fat transfers it's probably cos of the eyeballs not being able to move properly cos of the fat in the uppers and whatever was moved in the lowers. I am intrigued as to how it'll all change over the next few days and weeks.

The acne on my face is sore to touch and really painful but getting better. I'm not sure if I'll make it in to work tomorrow and feeling really guilty about that but it is what it is. Everything happens for a reason and all is happening at the right time, space and sequence.

I promised Jane's sec months ago that I'd send her before and after pics of my eyes and as yet haven't had time to do so. It's on my to do list.

Spent some time on the net yesterday doing some research on yoga and managed to find some DVDs that will help my own individual practice at home which will help with my work stress and other stress in life on a daily basis, and I was glad to find that which I did. I also spoke to my original yoga teacher in the UK about some confusions I had about certain things and last weekend's workshop with the other teacher and was happy with his helpful responses and I feel much better. Things are moving along there as I'm also in touch with another yoga teacher in the US talking about her coming to the UK to do a similar workshop. There's obviously much more detail which I won't go into - general gist is that things are resolving themselves and the feedbackI'm getting is that the yoga teacher who came to teach us last weekend's energy has affected a lot of other people who've walked away from her too (so that makes me feel I'm not alone - whew!).

Didn't take any pictures yesterday - didn't feel up to it and not sure if I'll take any today. I haven't even videod my eyes to monitor the movement and progress etc in the past few days - just not feeling up to it.

Emotions are on a rollercoaster though not as much as when I first got back from surgery - thinking back then when I was on the medication, my emotions were sky high and I got upset very easily. I still do in that I tear up at the drop of a hat when watching tv - sometimes I think my body has just been through so much trauma over the past 18 months with all the surgeries I've had and it's still recovering from the Y-V brow lift of 6 months ago and I'm already putting it through another trauma of my latest surgery and my body needs nurturing.