Day 36 post surgery : Tue 10th Jan 2006

Samo samo the past couple of days. A number of people who haven't seen me at work for a while bumped into me in the corridor or by the entrance to the building and comment on how my hair has grown and they like the style/colour etc and that's that. No comments about my eyes - yeah!!!!! They're all focused on my hair (smiles).

This is the second week back at work and one of my male bosses looks at me this afternoon when I'm in his office and said "Have you coloured your hair?". I'm one of those that find it difficult to lie though these past couple of weeks it's been fairly easy to say that my best friend's daughter is a hairdresser and gave me a new hairdo and colour as a Christmas present and smile and say I'm still getting used to the new hairstyle myself :). T liked it and was focusing on my hair and didn't even ask how my eyes went - though on his first day back last week he asked how my eyes were though hasn't looked at them since ie like before, I'd feel everyone was looking at my eyes and flicking at their own eyes in sympathy for my lump; though now, nothing .... this is such a relief and it allows me the time and space to heal from all the traumas of the past year. I'm so grateful for the space to be able to do this and I pray that my wig holds out for the next 6 months or so; and that I can have my lower eyelid reconstruction beginning of July, that's long enough I think, though I'm happy to have it sooner.

Left upper eyelid
The past couple of days or so I've been noticing my left upper eyelid isn't healing as fast as my right upper eyelid and isn't as open. I'm hoping this is just cos it's slow in healing and will catch up in due course as I'm only 5 weeks post surgery. I'm just nervous cos of all that happened with my first two surgeries with the butcher surgeon. It's nothing too serious to concern myself about - it's just a minor concern at the moment and I'm sure it'll catch up with the right eye in due course. I'll mention this to Jane when I see her next week, when it'll be my 6 week check up :) - yup that time already.

My brows feel tender still as does my forehead and my incisions are healing slowly but surely. My head is getting used to the wig though after 12 hours a day of wearing it, my head loves a nice massage afterwards :) My long hair is still suffering from chemical damage from the brow lift and that will probably take a few more weeks to heal from, like a bad perm. I'm due to have my hair coloured as my white roots are showing but I'm going to leave it for a while as no one will look at my roots for a while.

I'm still sleeping upright though towards the end of the night and closing on to the morning I start to get tired and slip down to a straight position. My eyesight is usually blurry when I wake and it takes me a few minutes to get myself together; though as mentioned the other day, the secondary tearing has thankfully stopped.

I did buy some TheraTears Gel to use at work though I don't think they're strong enough for my eyes, certainly not strong enough to use overnight as a lubricant.

I asked my sis in Singapore to seach for some Similisan homeopathic eye drops though don't think she can find them. I can't seem to find anywhere online that ships to the UK so far.

I'm still feeling run down and don't understand how those on the Makeover shows can have one surgery after the other with multiple procedures. Maybe it's my low blood pressure which makes me feel this way .. I wonder.