Day 20 post surgery - Sun 25th Dec 05 - no make up and high hairline. Now that the red area has disappeared from my left eye, it's more obvious that there is lower eyelid retraction (and strangely is more noticeable when I wear mascara).
Day 21 post surgery, with mascara and eyeline on lower lids; and a wig to hide high forehead line and high eyebrows.
Today I decided to go to Thurrock Lakeside to look for either hair extensions or a wig. Mom didn't want to go and I decided to ask my best friend instead, who was free. My hair looks extremely thin, fine and flat as a pancake and it's really difficult to hide the thinning patches where the incisions are.
Suzy Wigs at Thurrock Lakeside is the store we headed for, which I found on the internet last nite. Bluewater no longer has any wig stores which must have closed down. The lady at the counter showed me some human hair extensions and asked me what I wanted to use it for. I removed my winter hat and told her that I'd had a brow lift recently and the intent was to thicken my hair and hide the thinning patches. She said the extensions wouldn't do the job as it was mainly to lengthen hair and not quite meant for the front of the scalp. She recommended I perhaps try some wigs instead, and my friend encouraged me, so that is what I did.
The lady headed for a wig that was exactly the same colour as my hair is currently and also is the same length. What are the odds of that happening hey? Anyway, she puts it on for me and my friend is over the moon and keeps saying how wonderful I look in it; as does the lady in the shop. I'm not so sure as this was the first time I'm seeing myself with mascara and in shop lighting and I'm totally shocked by what I see as all I can see are huge eyes and eyes that look like they have eye make up on and all I have is a bit of mascara and a little eyeliner on the bottom of my lower eyelids. And the hair was thick which is so different from my own. I was just in shock as it felt like I was looking at a total stranger in the mirror.
Anyway my friend couldn't sing enough praises as to how wonderful the wig looked and said it looked really natural and that no one would be able to tell. It was a lot for me to take in as I'd never in my entire life worn a wig till then (oh apart from the recent Halloween bash!). My friend wears wigs all the time and I can never tell when it's a wig or if it's a new hair style.
I asked how much it was and the lady said £230 (ouch!). It wasn't real human hair as that cost £435 (double ouch). I looked around the shop to see if there were any other styles I liked, and tried on a couple but nah, they didn't look as good as the one I'd tried on first. I ended up getting it in spite of my friend trying to talk me out of it as it was so expensive as I wasn't up to driving around for hours trying to find something else more suitable. Money is only an energy exchange. My friend suggested I wear the wig out of the shop which I did and it felt weird to begin with and then it started to feel like I was wearing a hat. I did get a few funny looks at first until I put my hair behind my ears when it started to look a bit more natural.
Oh, this was the first time my friend had seen my eyes and I felt really uncomfortable as she scoured my entire face and then said she noticed the difference in my eyes which looked like they had make up on because of the crease and said she liked it. I asked if it was really noticeable and she said yeah but that she liked it. I said perhaps cos she was aware I'd had surgery she could tell re my eye lid crease. She did say my brow was too high and that the area between my eyebrows and eyes was also a little too high, which I agree with and can't wait for it to drop. She did agree my hair was flat and that my hairline had increased ie gone further up my scalp - eeek!
When I got home I realised that the last 6-7 inches of my hair looks like it's been permed as it's all dry and matted. My hair is my pride and joy and everyone has always marvelled at my hair for it's shine and length; and now I feel I've lost my pride and joy in that my hairline has increased up my scalp and the quality of my hair ie shine has been lost. If the permed look doesn't wash off in a few weeks, I may end up having to lose 6-7 inches of my hair if not more and that took me years to grow. (sniffles). Right now goodness only knows how long it will take for my thin patches to grow out and if my hairline will ever return to normal.
I was upset today cos now that the red blood area has disappeared from my left eye, the lower left eyelid retraction is much more noticeable (which I had suspected may happen); and it's the first thing my friend mentioned when she saw my eyes, ie that she could still see my lump, though it was much smaller; and that the left eye was still bigger than the right eye but that the sleepy look had disappeared. She also noticed that my eyelash (left) now curled up whereas before it was flat.
So today was a disappointing day in losing the beauty of my hair (which I hope is temporary), if not I'll have to cut and start again (sniffles) and in noticing that my lower left eyelid droop is still very much noticeable.
I was excited to see my mother's reaction to my wig; and to see if she could tell if it was a wig; so I drove over to see her. I was a little taken aback to see my father there as I hadn't seen him for 5 years, nor spoken to him in that time. He'd heard about my surgery and the first thing he said when he saw me was that nothing had changed about my eyes. Hey?! Ah well. Men hey?! I asked him about my hair and he asked if I'd had hair extensions put in - probably asked that cos my hair looks thicker. I'm sure my mom knows it's a wig! Eeek.
Anyway I'm really tired as it's been a long day and I'm going to take a nice long hot bath and get some sleep.
My friend did hit a few nerves when I mentioned to her that I may consider other surgeries (which I knew she would, though was hoping she wouldn't). Ie her comments were along the lines of oh Indi, are you now becoming a surgery junkie, you don't need x, y, z as there is nothing wrong with you etc etc ..... Why did I even think she'd change the tune and be supportive instead of judgemental? I still feel unsupported cos of it and upset though that's her to a T. She'll never change her patterns. (sighs). She then started going on into a lecture about how more and more people are having plastic surgery, to which I replied, that is because it is now becoming more accessible - if people are unhappy with how they look and it affects their self esteem, ie cos they have protruding ears or a big nose that people keep commenting on and making fun of or just cos they personally feel really unhappy about, then why begrudge those people having cosmetic surgery and why comment that they are vain? I guess the ignorant will always be ignorant until they are educated.
I did watch one plastic surgery programme a couple of days ago where a woman who was about 32 years old and had lost about 6 stones, and was left with breasts that looked like oranges in a sock and sagging skin on her stomach, was about to undergo a tummy tuck and a breast lift. She said that her whole life she had always strongly believed that those who went for plastic surgery were no more than fools with too much money to spend and too vain and who didn't want to work hard for good bodies etc; and now she said she realises how wrong she was about it all and after her surgery she said that she had never felt so good about herself in her whole life now that she'd had her surgery to fix the areas that she'd hated. Her end thoughts were "never say never".
No comments:
Post a Comment